Raising children is one of the most difficult and satisfying tasks in the world, and the one for which you may feel you are least prepared.
Below are nine tips for raising a child that can help you feel more fulfilled as a parent and enjoy your children more, too receptive language.
- Boost your child’s self-esteem
Children begin to develop their sense of self as babies, when they see themselves through the eyes of their parents. Your children assimilate your tone of voice, your body language and all your expressions. Your words and actions as a parent impact the development of their self-esteem more than anything else. Praising achievements, even small ones, will make children proud; Allowing them to do things on their own will make them feel capable and strong. On the contrary, belittling comments or negative comparisons with other children will make them feel worthless.
Avoid biased statements or using hurtful words. Comments such as “How stupid!” or “You act more like a baby than your little brother!” They can cause the same damage as physical hits. Choose your words carefully and be compassionate. Tell your children that all people make mistakes and that you still love them, even when you don’t approve of their behavior.
- Recognize good deeds
Have you ever stopped to think how many times a day you have negative reactions to your children? She may notice that she criticizes them many more times than she compliments them. How would you feel if a boss treated you in such a negative way, even if he meant well?
The most positive approach is to recognize children’s good actions: “You made the bed without me asking, that’s great!” or “I was watching you while you were playing with your sister and you were very patient.” These comments will be much more effective in encouraging good behavior in the long term than continuous reprimands.
Make a point to find something to praise every day. Be generous with rewards: Your love, hugs, and praise can work wonders and are usually gratification enough. You will soon find that you are “cultivating” more of the behavior you would like to see.
- Set limits and be consistent with discipline
Discipline is necessary in all houses. The goal of discipline is to help children choose acceptable behaviors and learn self-control. They may test the boundaries you set, but they are essential for them to become responsible adults.
Setting rules at home helps children understand your expectations and develop self-control. Some rules may include, for example, not watching television until homework is done and not allowing hitting, insults, or hurtful teasing.
You may want to implement a system: a warning followed by consequences, which can be a penance or loss of privileges. A common mistake parents make is not following through with consequences. You can’t discipline children for a bad answer one day and ignore it the next. Being consistent teaches them what you expect.
- Make time for your children
It is often difficult for parents and children to get together for a family meal, let alone spend quality time together. However, there’s probably nothing kids would like more than that. Get up 10 minutes earlier in the morning so you can have breakfast with your kids, or leave the dishes in the sink and go for a walk after dinner. Children who do not receive the attention they want from their parents often overact or misbehave because they are sure that they will receive attention.
Many parents find it rewarding to schedule time to spend with their children. Schedule a “special night” each week to be together and let your children help decide how to spend the time. Find other ways to connect, for example, put a note or something special in the children’s lunch boxes.
Adolescents appear to need less individual attention from their parents compared to younger children. Since there are fewer opportunities for parents and teens to spend time together, parents should do their best to be available when their children express a desire to talk or participate in family activities. Attending concerts, games, and other events with your teen is a way to convey affection, and it allows you to learn other things about your child and his or her friends that are important.
Don’t feel guilty if you are a working parent. Children will remember the little things you do, for example, making popcorn, playing cards, window shopping.
- Be a good role model
Young children learn a lot about how to act by watching their parents. The younger they are, the more they imitate it. Before you react aggressively or become angry in front of your child, think about this: Is this how you want your child to behave when angry? Always be aware that your children are watching you. Studies have shown that children who hit often imitate the pattern of aggression at home.
Serve as an example of the qualities you want to cultivate in your children: respect, cordiality, honesty, kindness, tolerance. Be generous. Do things for others without expecting retribution. Express your gratitude and give praise. Above all, treat your children the same way you expect other people to treat you.
- Make communication a priority
You can’t expect children to do everything just because you as a parent “say so.” They want and deserve explanations just like adults. If we don’t spend time explaining, children will begin to question our values and motivations, and whether these are justified. Parents who reason with their children allow them to understand and learn without making value judgments.
Make your expectations clear. If there is a problem, describe it, express your feelings, and invite your child to find a solution together. Don’t forget to mention the consequences. Make suggestions and offer alternatives. Also, be willing to listen to your child’s suggestions. Negotiate. Children who participate in decision-making are more motivated to follow through with them.
- Be flexible and willing to adapt your parenting style
If your child’s behavior frequently disappoints you, it may be because your expectations are unrealistic. For parents thinking about “the right thing to do” (for example, “My child should use the potty at this point”), it may be helpful to read about the topic or talk to other parents or child development specialists.
The environment surrounding children has an impact on their behavior; therefore, you can change that behavior by modifying the environment. If you continually have to say “no” to your 2-year-old, find a way to restructure the environment so that fewer things are off-limits. This will be less frustrating for both of you.
As your child changes, you will need to gradually modify your parenting style. Chances are, what is effective with your child today will not be so effective in a year or two.
Adolescents tend to look more to their peers and less to their parents for role models. However, be sure to guide, encourage, and discipline your teen while allowing him or her to become increasingly independent. And take advantage of every moment you have to build a relationship.
- Show that your love is unconditional
As a parent, you have the responsibility to correct and guide your children. However, the way you express your corrective guidance has a great influence on how a child receives it. When you have to confront your child, avoid blaming, criticizing, or finding fault; All of this can weaken self-esteem and cause resentment. Instead, make an effort to educate and encourage, even when disciplining your children. Make sure they know that even though you want and hope for better next time, your love is unconditional. - Be aware of your own needs and limitations as a parent
Face it: you are not a perfect parent. As the head of the family, you have strengths and weaknesses. Recognize your abilities: “I am loving and dedicated.” Promise to work on your weaknesses: “I need to be more consistent with discipline.” Try to have realistic expectations for yourself, your spouse, and your children. You don’t have to know all the answers – be easy on yourself.
And try to make parenting a task you can manage. Focus on the areas that need the most attention, rather than trying to tackle everything at once. Admit when you feel exhausted. Take time away from parenting to do things that will make you feel happy as a person (or as a couple).
Focusing on your needs does not make you a selfish person. He simply means that he cares about his own well-being, another important value for his children to follow.